One Year Into Their Odyssey
by spacegypsy1
Summary: An Unending missing scene. Daniel and Vala. Angst, heartache and love.


One Year Into Their Odyssey

**One Year Into Their Odyssey**

Spacegypsy1

Synopsis: An Unending missing scene. Daniel and Vala. Angst, heartache and love.

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She couldn't breathe. Panic gripped her, making it worse. Trapped under heavy weight she struggled for her life.

"Vala?" The soft sleepy voice called to her but she couldn't reach him. "Daniel!" She cried out.

Daniel lifted his head from her chest, "Vala!" Pushing up on his hands, arms on either side of her, he called again. "Vala, wake up. Sweetheart, it's me. I'm here."

She came up on her elbows, her face inches from his. "Daniel?"

He kissed her softly, pulled her into his arms and took her with him as he rolled to his back. "Shh. It's alright. Just a dream."

Vala laid her head on his bare chest, eyes wide with remnants of fear and panic. She was trapped. They were all trapped.

Daniel stroked her hair, felt her tremors, her little gasps of breath.

"Same dream?" Daniel stroked her back.

She nodded her head.

"Go back to sleep. I'm right here."

Pulling away she sat up on the side of the bed.

In the quiet of infinite space the only sound was the ghostly humming of the Odyssey and the rustle of the sheets as he moved to sit behind her.

Shivering uncontrollably, Vala wrapped her arms around herself. Daniel pulled the covers up across her shoulders and held her close, his head resting lovingly against the back of hers.

He didn't speak again. They'd been here before. In the last eight months, since they'd been together, she'd had the same nightmare dozens of times. He rocked her silently, waiting. She would only get angry if he asked. He closed his eyes, rocking, holding, comforting, his heart breaking. There was nothing else he could do. He no longer brought it up in the days following the nightmares. In the first few months she'd experienced the dreams and he pressed her with questions she'd become angry and disappeared into her old quarters for days. Unable to sleep without her, he'd become irritated and they would fight, screaming at each other and upsetting everyone else in the process.

At last she relaxed back into him with a sigh. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. Please." He kissed her hair.

Moving around him, Vala crawled back into the bed, reaching out for him to follow. It was her pattern. She not only wanted him to make love to her, she wanted his soul. He gave it freely, loved her fiercely with his body and whispered endearments, knowing he was her lifeline through this madness. Tomorrow she would be the Vala from before the Odyssey, teasing him cruelly, annoying him ruthlessly, lying to him and telling him she did not really care for him, just to make sure he did not comment on her vulnerability. He would endure; would not protect himself against her onslaught. He was a changed man, no more barriers. He would let the words roll off of him like water. He would wait her out.

They lay spent, sated, exhausted; staring at the ceiling.

"I'm sorry, Daniel. And I promise I won't flip out on you tomorrow."

_What had brought that on?_ He wondered as he turned his head to see her watching him, a little smile playing on her lips. Eyebrows furrowed in confusion Daniel took her hand in his not knowing what to say. Vala closed her eyes and sighed wearily.

xxxxxx

Surrounded by the ancient symbols Daniel stood, hands in pockets studying his beloved text. At the door, Vala watched him knowing how inappropriate her jealousy of the room was. If it had been a woman, another lover, she would have the skills to steal her man away, but his passion for this room, these odd symbols, could not be fought against. He must have sensed her presence for he turned - an adoring smile on his lips.

Vala came into the room as he turned back to his work. "I have realized something in the last few months."

"And what is that?" He sounded preoccupied.

"That you are happy to be with me."

He turned and walked towards her. "That I am."

"It's hard for me to open up, not unlike my favorite archeologist."

They stood nearly nose to nose. Daniel's heart raced. This was not what he expected from her today. He couldn't speak for fear he'd say the wrong thing. The soft gray of her eyes held no anger, but something else entirely and his heart seemed to move into his throat.

Vala placed a palm against his cheek. "I dream, my beloved Daniel, that I am trapped beneath a heavy stone. And that you, in your effort to save me only worsen the condition by standing, or laying or sitting on said stone."

"Vala."

"Shh, darling, come with me." She took his hand and led him to their quarters. When the door slid shut, she turned, "I haven't told you this before, not only because I find it hard to share my feelings… show my vulnerability, but also because you will feel guilty and quite possibly back away from me, both physically and emotionally".

"Never."

"You see, it's one of those catch twenty-two thingies. Daniel," she sighed despondently, "the nightmares are trigged by you."

He looked at her in horror. Vala pulled him across the room, gently pushed him to sit on the end of the bed, and settled beside him. She laid her head on his shoulder.

"Yes." She whispered into his T-shirt. "There are times, mostly proceeded by a rather … shall we say intense evening of lovemaking, when you sleep quite literally on top of me. Your head, your arm, legs, all the delightfully wonderful body parts. Now it seems such a silly thing to have kept from you. But I was never really sure of your feelings. No matter what you whispered intentionally or not. Usually, when that lovely event occurs, I wake you, move you or shove you off of me. But there are those times, Daniel when I drift off to sleep loving the feel of you. Knowing you are in essence a part of me."

He was silent and she feared the worst, but the need to continue overpowered her trepidation. "I feel trapped. I feel trapped on this ship. And until recently, I felt trapped by my feelings for you. Aren't you going to say something?"

Shaking his head he only stared wide eyed at her. He could do this – he could survive it. And at all costs he would save the friendship if nothing else. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Daniel took a deep breath and let it out with, "no."

Having thought that she had seen every kind of fear in his eyes before, Vala was completely taken aback by the horror she saw in them now. "Darling," she murmured gently, her hand caressing his cheek, "darling, I don't want to feel trapped by my feelings any longer. I want to be trapped, tied and bound and coupled. I want to share everything I feel and hold nothing back." She stood, her back to him. "I've told everyone on this ship that I'm in love with you. But I could never tell you." When she turned back her eyes sparkled with tears. "Daniel, I'm crazy in love with you. I don't want to lose what we have. When we get back…I want to be with you like this."

He was standing now, in front of her, and she saw none of the fear in his beautiful eyes. She smiled, a silly grin really, caused by uneasiness and uncertainty.

"Crazy in love?" He said and let out a nervous little laugh and her grin widened.

"Delirious." Her eyebrow quirked up in a question.

Pulling her against his chest he hugged her, resting his chin on the top of her head. "Crazy in love. I'm crazy in love with a woman who is crazy in love with me. I should have told you that first night. I should have told you every day and every night since."

Vala's arms tightened around his back and she kissed his chest. "And you promise not to hold back, afraid of …"

"Trapping you beneath me?"

"Yes."

"I won't. I promise." Daniel lifted her face and kissed her. A kiss of promise and love – soft yet passionate, kind yet seeking. "I will always love you, Vala, no matter what happens, I will always love you."

END


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